my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
