I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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