she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
