Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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