no, he came in my armpit
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
