You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
