she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
