I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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