I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
