you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
