Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
