Soap is not a condiment
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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