he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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