i wish my penis had a tongue
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
