Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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