my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
