First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
