im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
