Whod you bang
So drunk its hurt
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
