All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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