sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
