We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
