Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
