Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
her facebook's as public as her vagina
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
