i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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