mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
