yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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