We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
