Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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