a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
