last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i came on her dog
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
