What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
