how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
