It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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