dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
