I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
