it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
