so that wasnt chicken after all
I think my vagina is haunted
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
