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• (713): View more from Texas

  I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

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• (408): View more from California

  Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.

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• (562): View more from California

  Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.

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• (518): View more from New York

  He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.

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• (353): View more from

  I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me

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• (850): View more from Florida

  That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  THIS THING HATES MY LIVER

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Why is there bacon in the couch?

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