PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
