YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
