And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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