did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
so much tequila, so little girl.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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