You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize