Cold hands, warm shart.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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