I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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