I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
