she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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