just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Bring me that man meat
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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