I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize