Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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