He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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