I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
