the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Randomize
