you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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