u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
