I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
