i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
