butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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